Sunday, 18 June 2017

Tears, smiles and thoughts

Dreaming of my beautiful sunlit meadow when poorlyness took hold

My little one who knows me so well offering gentle affection with her gaze


The wildflowers returned like they never left. Nature therapy.
A tragic and untimely farewell to my dearest writing companion 


*

Last week brought many things along amongst the beautiful arrival of summer time . . .  expected goodbyes and then unexpected farewells, peaceful thought provoking time coupled with poorlyness which would not allow enjoyment or relaxation, only pain and tears. Reflection and dreams taking shape and coming to life, doubts tangled with worry, muddled with uncertainty but then refreshed with belief and excitement. Planning, hopeful chats, sharing fears and then making it all better. 

A real mixture of a week . . .  yet I have surfaced from such a time with clarity, inspiration and above all a softly spoken peace which has eluded my grasp for a while now.

It might have been a week of bumpy rides, but at least I know I can sail the storms and as it stands now, I can see the lighthouse from my ship again . . .  I am not far away from the shore line . . . at last. 


' After a rainstorm, comes the rainbow'
Author Unknown


*

I hope your week has more ups than downs . . .


Monday, 12 June 2017

Forget me not . . .

Dear Blog,

I just wanted to let you know that I have not forgotten you. I'm still here, checking in and although your pages have remained empty a lot longer than usual just recently, I hope you know I am close by still and will begin writing again very soon . . . 

There is a lot to share, in meadow and milly life and a lot of undiscovered inspirations to blossom too.

But for now dear blog, thank you for waiting so patiently. I hope the photos will colour your pages so as not to leave you too bare for too long. 

Your devoted writer, Milly x 







Thursday, 1 June 2017

Chapter 6 ~ Our dear June





Pretty sunlit treasures


*

Dear June,

You've arrived so quickly this year. I am not sure many of us have truly caught our breath just yet. My, how fast the days roll into each other. Yet, I know I am very glad to see you and I'm hopeful a batch of lovely things are in store for all of us.

If you could chase those over hanging clouds away and let some beautiful sunlight in, to warm our fearful faces and soften our nervous hearts in the midst of the anxious times we find ourselves in just now, then I know we would all be so grateful.

The sunshine does brighten our spirits. Everything is more radiant in the sunlight and together we will stick together, with a quiet strength, smiling on, even if inside we're shaking.

A sunny disposition does not mean forgetting or ignoring sadness or worry - rather it means to carry on positively, giving each day our best shot at making it a little more special and worthwhile than the last.


Lets open the gate to summer and let her in . . . .


With love


*


Let the sunlight in . . .

Tuesday, 30 May 2017

Moments amongst the blossom trees

They appeared one morning, pretty and pink



Floral touches everywhere in the meadow




Because everyone needs a special place to think




Walking in nature is a healer


Little feathered friends at coffee time


Ramshackle and rustic hanging baskets


Soft pony noses


Wildflowers growing side by side

In a world that can feel unstable, the meadow is a small, safe haven engulfed in rising cow parsley and hedge rows strewn with pink blossoms.


The wild flowers have reared their smiling faces and each morning as I climb the gate to tend to my horses, the wilderness of green has something new to discover within it.


In all honesty, I am a little lost anywhere else but the meadow where my beloved horses live. The rural bliss I call my second home and devote so much energy to each day, may just look like a couple of acres of earth to some, but to me it's a sanctuary. A place of my very own. I make the rules and plans whilst tending to the care and growth of everything within inside the fence. The little stable over looking the river is my office and amongst essential horse care products and gadgets, I have always enjoyed filling it with the touches that resemble a happy and comfortable home.


In an unsettled world it's lovely to have somewhere to go, which is one step out of my comfort zone of my family home . . . but near enough that panic does not take over.


Amongst the blossom trees, with my horses peacefully swishing their tails whilst tearing shreds of grass from their paddock, I can breathe, believe and enjoy a slower and steadier time, and hope that maybe one day, the rest of the world outside the meadow won't feel quite such a scary place.




With Love
X







Friday, 19 May 2017

A week of rainfall

Vintage bootsale treasures
Morning coffee moments
Blossom soaked in rain drops

The green and grey horizon beckoning adventure

A week of dreaming and planning, and dusting oneself off from worries and doubts. A week of steady paces, quiet comtemplation and discovering what works and what doesn't. A week of reflection and remembering that to grow is good, but to fit into the wrong box is not. A week of trusting that no matter what comes, there will always be something encouraging around the corner if we just have the confidence to look out for it, and listen to ourselves . . .

What has your week looked like? 


*


 
 




Friday, 12 May 2017

My Mental Health looks like . . .

~ Mental Health is Unique To Everyone Because We Are All Unique   


'Everyone's story matters'

*


My Social Anxiety looks like . . . sitting on the end of my bed staring into space while my mind goes over and over every social interaction the day has brought me.

My OCD looks like . . . struggling to leave my comfort zones until it feels right to do so. 

My Anxiety looks like . . . me asking for constant reassurance about how I should plan my day.

*

These are just a few little snippets through the open window of my mind. I have been well acquainted with Mental Health for most of my life, both as a sufferer and supporter to someone close who experiences a very severe psychotic mental illness. 

At first, I was terrified by all of it. Terrified of how my own mind was functioning - or not - as the case was, and terrified of watching someone you love lose their sense of reality and behave in ways that would unsettle even the calmest of souls. 

But as time passed, fear turns to accepting, accepting to greater understanding, until all you feel is compassion and a strong desire to fix it all and make it better. 

I think it's wonderful that people group together on Mental Health Awareness week. I think it's so special that people are now so aware and empathetic of the internal struggles many of us face on a daily basis. I think it's such a strong leap forward to acknowledge that Mental Health is just as important as our Physical Health.

It seems that the more sufferers and supporters stick together, the more we can hope and aim for better medical help, kind acceptance from those around us and best of all, a warming sense that no matter what we're going through, we are not alone . . . 

*

With love to everyone and anyone on Mental Health Awareness week Xxx










Wednesday, 3 May 2017

Chapter 5 ~ Darling May ~




It seems that May has begun with a wonderful quote to encourage, inspire and simply say
 ' yes it's okay, take some time.' 

When the bluebells light up every woodland, leaves radiate green, blossom's sparkle their soft pinky pastel shades as the sunlight sprays them with warmth . . .  what better time could there be for gathering a few precious moments of peace, than in Darling May when the buds are blooming. 

Although self care is widely chatted about, deeply essential to our well being, and wholeheartedly necessary from time to time, I wonder why there is still an element of 'guilt' or ' disgruntled attitude felt' towards anyone trying to save a little time for themselves?

I can only assume it's unhappiness on their part. Which is a shame, it really is,  because to function well for others, we must firstly function well for ourselves.

I am 'Mum' to three ponies and a dear friends horse - four beautiful equines relying on me for every one of their individual needs. It's a responsibility I never tire of, it's a commitment I am unshakably connected to. But as a rather small in stature person I have to ensure I don't over do it when tackling field chores in all weathers, putting up fencing in the pouring rain, and generally living the outdoorsy life of a horsy girl. 

Sometimes it's very healthy to check in with yourself and really get to the root of what it is your body needs to not just live, but thrive on. 

 As horses and family are the center of my world, I want to selflessly and honestly care for them all in the very best way I possibly can. If that means prioritising a few moments to some self care, I'm going to take note and give it a very good try. 

Beside the meadow river
Blue bell strewn pathways




















I hope May offers you some peaceful chances for relaxing and re invigoration ~ 
 It's a positive chance to get well and rested ready for our summer just around the corner . . .




With love



Tuesday, 25 April 2017

A simple slow living thought . . .


 *

It's lovely to be greeted by a blank piece of paper to fill up with thoughts and ideas, dreams and questions. As bloggers, lovers of words and writers, I'm sure you'll agree? . . .

It doesn't matter if it's a pretty note book, with pages only for your eyes, or whether it's a grander scale blog post sharing a wonderful product or kind piece of advice - what matters is that it's for you. And it makes you feel just that little bit of magic at your finger tips.

I feel I have not tended enough to my pages here just recently. And, quite sadly so, my confidence has depleted as a result. I am very blessed to have found two things in life which act as my 'therapy' on days when worries become a little heavy, and fears outshine reality. But, yet, I have not made these therapeutic pastimes a priority. I call them pastimes. But really they are so much more than that. They are necessities. They bring inner calm. Self acceptance but most of all, self confidence, purpose and the all important happiness  . . . 

Embarking on a new chapter with my learning and aspirations has been at the front of my mind since the winter months, yet, I'd forgotten that it's okay to devote guilt free time to the things which bring me a quiet contentment and a joyful simplicity - they act as my fuel - and you can't trudge on without fuel! You'll just stop! This I fear is exactly what has happened!

Maybe you've experienced this too?

So, my 'gather myself together' plan is . . . to construct a weekly diary in which I create a little structure, a little learning time and time for the things which build me up . . . in a guiltless a way as possible!

With the long, bright evenings and cow parsley with blue bells filling every corner of the countryside just now, courage can so easily be restored, confidence ignited once more and dreams brought back into my area of control, so I can have the fullest of beliefs that I can , and will, make them happen. 

I've always naturally gravitated towards slow - living. My mind is sadly struggling to accept that 'slow and calm' is okay, but the more time I devote to the the things which are right for me, the more chance I have I'm sure of everything steadily falling into place. . . like it has so many times before.

*

With love 


I see a wish . . .


Nature always shows you the way home . . .
Life is even more beautiful when viewed above pony ears . . .


*


Wednesday, 12 April 2017

Permission to be you ~


'Don't fit into a box ~ create your own' 

(Inspiration from Marianne Cantwell)


*


Some days become mountains too steep to climb. Our minds can build up a fog within making it very difficult to see where we are going.  Little parts of us slip into the self doubting territory and the questioning begins, the undermining of oneself, the lack of belief, soon it's a vortex of swirling and whirling overwhelming fear - and just like that we've forgotten all that makes us special. 

Such is being human. . . .

Growing up, my heart belonged to the countryside and my family - anything outside of that and I would crumble. I didn't fully understand then that I was living with an Anxiety Disorder which governed much of my mind and outlook on the big wide world. 





 As I took baby steps to build my life as a young adult, I found myself coming up against people who would try to change 'who I was'. It was quite painful to not be simply accepted just as me. I am all for encouragement and support in helping each other grow, but not judgment and 'pull yourself together' conversations. I'm sure you agree?

You see, I think people thrive better when allowed to just be who they are without question. We shouldn't need permission from others to simply be ourselves, we should give ourselves the permission . . .

I have been thinking about this a lot recently as I embark on trying to support myself and my ponies on my own terms. I want to learn and grow and improve, but I do not want to lose who I am or question myself as I go forth . . . 

Then it came to me. For my senior schools I was home educated. It was the most wonderful experience for me and I did indeed step out of 'trying to fit' in the school box, and instead 'created a box' that suited me.

It seems, I should apply this now I'm on a new adventure as a young woman in my late twenties. I mustn't forget how freeing it was to step away from school, to learn in my own way and to build a future embracing all the little parts that make up 'me' . . .  

I think if I remember this . . . then just maybe the self doubt will fade, courage will grow and confidence will stay intact as I navigate a new path for myself.


I hope you are able to do the same? 

Give yourself permission to just be yourself in every little area of your life. . . . 

It seems the more I dwell on this, the more I see small signs of encouragement pop up which say, 'You're on the right track'  . . . 

If I am, then you are too : )

*


With love for a positive Easter week ahead . . .

Monday, 10 April 2017

A picture diary of a country girl ~

Spring is for exploring and restoring 

Allow time for a little fun 

Make time for pausing and noticing the little things 

As long as a moment makes sense to you,
that's all that counts 


Monday, 3 April 2017

Chapter 4 ~ April


April!

Soft blossoming trees

*

I'm not sure if I can truly say I'm able to harness the winds of change at present? I'm not that accomplished yet at sailing my ship . . . But I think I've settled into life after change better than I have before. Which is something good to head into April with. Do you think so . . . ?

As for the exciting new places??? Truthfully, my exciting new places may not be city breaks, beach holidays or exploring new countries - rather my exciting places happen to be on board my beautiful pony in a valley of rolling fields or beside my nephew, seeing the world through a child's eye's. Sipping hot coffee in pretty mugs in new coffee shops. Diving into self care books full off ideas and inspiring heartfelt knowledge! There is just as much adventure to be found here, in the smallest of places.

*

The month of sunlit evenings, blossom trees, warmer breezes and golden fields transforming the bare horizon is here at last. We're sailing into April . . . and best of all, Spring!


Sunlit ponies in the meadow


I hope April brings you lots of exciting and positive days. 


*




Thursday, 30 March 2017

~ Bronte charms and awaiting April ~

Cosy writing moments

Inspiration and enchantment
Green leaves and sunlit trees
 
Bronte charms and country creativity

 *

Ribbons, pastel shades, vintage floral patterns, delicate laced cards, touching quotes ~ what a beautiful collection for creating your own handmade cards this is  (above )  . . . .

It seems I will be writing and creating many little cards this coming April. Special loved ones birthdays, precious wedding anniversaries and then a little something to say I miss you.

Last April brought many joys. But then suddenly in the middle of the loveliness something tragic took place. I recall as if it were yesterday the moment my beautiful old pony fell to the ground. I held her soft head in my arms and within a couple of short hours, I had to say goodbye. 

This April feels the right time -  a year on - to create a little memory garden in our meadow. The flowers have already been lovingly planted by my friend. Now we just must wait and fill each day with the good things, for there are many joys to be felt and to cherish this April. I am certain of it. 

Daffodils have painted the meadow banks with their golden petals. The river side ducks have returned for nesting. The ponies are bright eyed at the taste and sight of spring grass tufts.  The mud is drying up, the nights are clear and open. The charms of country life are steadily returning. This season is all ready full of my favourite things, but as you can see by my photo moments, there are some home comforts bringing me a lot of hope and joy this spring too. 


Lets hope that April brings us all some good old fashioned charm, some Easter magic and a lot of good days through out . . . 

*

With love 
Xx


Viola touches in our meadow pots

7 o clock bright blue skies


See you soon April . . .







Sunday, 19 March 2017

Taking care of your mind ~

Swans on the pond are a lovely spring sight 

Soft, fluffy, twitching pony ears 

Jam jars with daffodil bunches 

A quiet moment with a few helpful hints on self care 

My favourite things often involve quiet moments. It may be simply watching my horses, sitting down with a collection of lovely inspiring books around me, country side time, family chats - these special things to me all act as a recharge and re set for the anxious mind I carry around.

I feel a little frazzled and fraught when rushed or hurried, but I am learning to play to my strengths which are being methodical and taking care on a task or project. Devoting lengthy thought out time to what I am doing serves me best!

Some people are wonderfully efficient and excellent time managers - me - not so much! I once tried to fit myself in the box of being a multi tasking whizz, getting everything done at breathtaking super girl speed - unfortunately in trying to change how my mind naturally operated,  I ended up working against myself and getting things horribly wrong - this in turn caused a huge rush of mental anxiety - sending my OCD tendencies for checking into a panicked over drive!! Help! This also depletes confidence in oneself! Not good!

What I've noticed is that this anxious state happens regularly now, whenever my energy rises to a more hurried state. The thoughts kick in and any normal functioning is greatly impaired!

I become ruled by my anxious mind set and it takes a long time to settle it all down again . . . But I am getting better at this!

What does help is remembering to save time for those lovely quiet moments mentioned above. A little 'brain rest' as a good friend calls it. A little time put by to take care of your mind - for it to needs TLC!

Giving your tired mind that much needed recharge, will make all those anxious moments feel calmly controlled and more manageable should they pop up at any time 

. . . Take good care of  'you' . . .


With love x





Ps: This post did pop up earlier and then somehow disappeared!! I do apologise. That's what happens when I dart out the door with a saddle in my arms to go riding - frazzled ness! ;  )







Tuesday, 14 March 2017

A little note on dreams and goals


*

Everyone has their own worries, fears, dreams and hopes within them. They are unique to us and precious. Yet, so often we're afraid to bring those ideals we hold dear to the surface, incase that very special plan of ours becomes crushed once exposed to the world. 

Not everyone is encouraged to follow their dreams. They are told it is unrealistic and fanciful. And worst of all, not real life. 


Life has many frightening paths, which at some point in our lives we all walk down before getting safely to the other side, after a few scary life lessons along the way. But just because life has it's tragedies, its sorrows, it's everyday mundane routines like bill paying and appointments - it doesn't mean we should forget our dreams and those little sparkles within that bring light to our day.

Surely life needs a little more dreaming and a little more hope, and a lot more light to be let in amongst the normal and the usual. 

The world is full of people that had a dream and made it happen. It takes courage, determination but most of all, dedication through the trials and errors. It may not happen over night. It may not happen for many years. But dreams can become your reality if you don't give up on them.

The wonderful thing is as you grow, learn, change - your dreams often do too.  They evolve and grow stronger and more complex in colour, or they dissolve into something else altogether. As long as you acknowledge they're there, they will keep shining and sharing with you what is right in your life and what is wrong. They act as a good guide, encouraging you towards the path that's meant for you.
It's worth noting they're there, ready to bring them to life when the time is right. 

Dreams can be anything from the lavish to the quiet everyday hopes. I am talking about the kind of dreams that bring happiness, joy and quality to our lives and others. 

Wining the lottery may seem a far fetched dream to have, and one that you have very little power over - but if you dig that dream up and expose it to the sun, you may just find that what you actually want is 'financial stability, freedom to do what you want, no more of the 9 - 5' 

So, with a little hard work, and the courage to change,  you can set about making that dream a possibility by looking at what matters most to you. What could you do without so you could maybe work part time? What skills do you have which may enable you to change careers and not be tied down? What lovely things would you like to bring into your life to have more excitement, fun and postivity in your day . . . it's all so do able and it's all achievable. It's all very possible, with a big dose of self belief, soul searching and commitment to a helping of hard work in the early stages.

It's all about recognizing that you have a choice. This is so easily forgotten when we've been walking a certain path for such a long time. We can become settled and often a little bit stuck. But, we do have a choice and we do have a voice, and there are many good souls who are happy to encourage us forwards when we don't believe that we are capable of those happy, hopeful things.

Dreams are not unrealistic - they are a part of life worth devoting as much time as we can spare to - because from them good things will surely grow . . . having dreams always makes life's tragedies so much more bearable, they are a light in the dark and a comfort in the tough moments.

Keep tightly hold of yours . . . and see what happens . . . I did : )






With love