Saturday, 24 June 2017

Writing by heart

I'm sure many blog readers, writers, creatives, book lovers out there would agree with me if I said, ' Isn't it lovely having something of your very own, to throw your thoughts down on and splash with every colour of your life . . .' 

I of course mean blogging! When I stumbled across this intricate, warm and accepting world of writing and creating I didn't really expect to have a go at joining in. I really wanted to. But part of me lacked courage and the other part, know - how!! 

One whole year (and a bit) in, and I'm doing it. I'm writing and keeping a blog that I've made and designed in an image that feels 'homey' and 'true to me' and it's real. It's out there. And it's such a special part of my life. 

There are many reasons it's become special to me . . . I've always loved writing and to discover this kind of outlet was a wonderful thing . . . but I think one of the main reasons it's struck such a chord with me is, the sense of belonging. 

I am reading daily of other like minded lives and personalities, interests, fears and worries all akin to my own and for someone who spent a huge portion of her life feeling 'different from the rest' it is incredibly encouraging to find 'your people' . . .






I am only a small scale blog as I have said many a time, but it's perfectly manageable for me this way and allows me to simply look through the window without un nerving myself in the process.

I've gained so much inspiration from blogging, but also from the lovely people I read about and see. I am wearing things I love more, having been brave enough to choose different fashions, I am back in touch with my creativity which had been quiet for sometime, I am re discovering old dreams, making new ones, and generally looking up when I walk instead of down. 

So, thank you to those who appear in my email inbox each morning, I feel like if we ever met, we may be friends, and if not that, then maybe faithful pen pals, who will always have something nice to say and share.


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 What does blogging mean to you?



Sunday, 18 June 2017

Tears, smiles and thoughts

Dreaming of my beautiful sunlit meadow when poorlyness took hold

My little one who knows me so well offering gentle affection with her gaze


The wildflowers returned like they never left. Nature therapy.
A tragic and untimely farewell to my dearest writing companion 


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Last week brought many things along amongst the beautiful arrival of summer time . . .  expected goodbyes and then unexpected farewells, peaceful thought provoking time coupled with poorlyness which would not allow enjoyment or relaxation, only pain and tears. Reflection and dreams taking shape and coming to life, doubts tangled with worry, muddled with uncertainty but then refreshed with belief and excitement. Planning, hopeful chats, sharing fears and then making it all better. 

A real mixture of a week . . .  yet I have surfaced from such a time with clarity, inspiration and above all a softly spoken peace which has eluded my grasp for a while now.

It might have been a week of bumpy rides, but at least I know I can sail the storms and as it stands now, I can see the lighthouse from my ship again . . .  I am not far away from the shore line . . . at last. 


' After a rainstorm, comes the rainbow'
Author Unknown


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I hope your week has more ups than downs . . .


Monday, 12 June 2017

Forget me not . . .

Dear Blog,

I just wanted to let you know that I have not forgotten you. I'm still here, checking in and although your pages have remained empty a lot longer than usual just recently, I hope you know I am close by still and will begin writing again very soon . . . 

There is a lot to share, in meadow and milly life and a lot of undiscovered inspirations to blossom too.

But for now dear blog, thank you for waiting so patiently. I hope the photos will colour your pages so as not to leave you too bare for too long. 

Your devoted writer, Milly x 







Thursday, 1 June 2017

Chapter 6 ~ Our dear June





Pretty sunlit treasures


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Dear June,

You've arrived so quickly this year. I am not sure many of us have truly caught our breath just yet. My, how fast the days roll into each other. Yet, I know I am very glad to see you and I'm hopeful a batch of lovely things are in store for all of us.

If you could chase those over hanging clouds away and let some beautiful sunlight in, to warm our fearful faces and soften our nervous hearts in the midst of the anxious times we find ourselves in just now, then I know we would all be so grateful.

The sunshine does brighten our spirits. Everything is more radiant in the sunlight and together we will stick together, with a quiet strength, smiling on, even if inside we're shaking.

A sunny disposition does not mean forgetting or ignoring sadness or worry - rather it means to carry on positively, giving each day our best shot at making it a little more special and worthwhile than the last.


Lets open the gate to summer and let her in . . . .


With love


*


Let the sunlight in . . .

Tuesday, 30 May 2017

Moments amongst the blossom trees

They appeared one morning, pretty and pink



Floral touches everywhere in the meadow




Because everyone needs a special place to think




Walking in nature is a healer


Little feathered friends at coffee time


Ramshackle and rustic hanging baskets


Soft pony noses


Wildflowers growing side by side

In a world that can feel unstable, the meadow is a small, safe haven engulfed in rising cow parsley and hedge rows strewn with pink blossoms.


The wild flowers have reared their smiling faces and each morning as I climb the gate to tend to my horses, the wilderness of green has something new to discover within it.


In all honesty, I am a little lost anywhere else but the meadow where my beloved horses live. The rural bliss I call my second home and devote so much energy to each day, may just look like a couple of acres of earth to some, but to me it's a sanctuary. A place of my very own. I make the rules and plans whilst tending to the care and growth of everything within inside the fence. The little stable over looking the river is my office and amongst essential horse care products and gadgets, I have always enjoyed filling it with the touches that resemble a happy and comfortable home.


In an unsettled world it's lovely to have somewhere to go, which is one step out of my comfort zone of my family home . . . but near enough that panic does not take over.


Amongst the blossom trees, with my horses peacefully swishing their tails whilst tearing shreds of grass from their paddock, I can breathe, believe and enjoy a slower and steadier time, and hope that maybe one day, the rest of the world outside the meadow won't feel quite such a scary place.




With Love
X







Friday, 19 May 2017

A week of rainfall

Vintage bootsale treasures
Morning coffee moments
Blossom soaked in rain drops

The green and grey horizon beckoning adventure

A week of dreaming and planning, and dusting oneself off from worries and doubts. A week of steady paces, quiet comtemplation and discovering what works and what doesn't. A week of reflection and remembering that to grow is good, but to fit into the wrong box is not. A week of trusting that no matter what comes, there will always be something encouraging around the corner if we just have the confidence to look out for it, and listen to ourselves . . .

What has your week looked like? 


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Friday, 12 May 2017

My Mental Health looks like . . .

~ Mental Health is Unique To Everyone Because We Are All Unique   


'Everyone's story matters'

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My Social Anxiety looks like . . . sitting on the end of my bed staring into space while my mind goes over and over every social interaction the day has brought me.

My OCD looks like . . . struggling to leave my comfort zones until it feels right to do so. 

My Anxiety looks like . . . me asking for constant reassurance about how I should plan my day.

*

These are just a few little snippets through the open window of my mind. I have been well acquainted with Mental Health for most of my life, both as a sufferer and supporter to someone close who experiences a very severe psychotic mental illness. 

At first, I was terrified by all of it. Terrified of how my own mind was functioning - or not - as the case was, and terrified of watching someone you love lose their sense of reality and behave in ways that would unsettle even the calmest of souls. 

But as time passed, fear turns to accepting, accepting to greater understanding, until all you feel is compassion and a strong desire to fix it all and make it better. 

I think it's wonderful that people group together on Mental Health Awareness week. I think it's so special that people are now so aware and empathetic of the internal struggles many of us face on a daily basis. I think it's such a strong leap forward to acknowledge that Mental Health is just as important as our Physical Health.

It seems that the more sufferers and supporters stick together, the more we can hope and aim for better medical help, kind acceptance from those around us and best of all, a warming sense that no matter what we're going through, we are not alone . . . 

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With love to everyone and anyone on Mental Health Awareness week Xxx